My friends are now at the age where everyone is getting engaged. This is a vast exaggeration, but that’s not the point. When this happens I make noises about how silly it is to get married at such a young age and how they clearly aren’t ready for a variety of reasons and oh my gosh how gag-worthy are those engagement photos anyway and wow what an ugly ring and how their Christian heteronormative lifestyle is so awful and mainstream. But not so deep down inside me is this nagging feeling of utter jealousy that I can’t have the gag-worthy engagement photos or the ugly engagement ring or the congratulations and acceptance from my family and friends. I can’t have that, and I am bitterly jealous of my friends who get to be happily engaged knowing no laws or Church doctrine will stop them from becoming a lawfully wedded couple. I am grossly jealous that I cannot marry the girl I love. I am jealous, and I feel ashamed for wanting to be “normal” when I am so proud to be a girl who loves another girl, for loving her is one of my greatest accomplishments. I want to marry her some day, and goddammit, I will. Full stop.
not to be weird, but… anal is really great. i’m not sure how i would feel about something as big as a penis in my butthole (that just autocorrect to “buttonhole” - how funny), but a finger or two is definitely pleasing. and i never thought that would be something that i would like, but i gotta say, i’m definitely glad i accidentally had the urge. and i’m glad my girlfriend decided to reciprocate.