My friends are now at the age where everyone is getting engaged. This is a vast exaggeration, but that’s not the point. When this happens I make noises about how silly it is to get married at such a young age and how they clearly aren’t ready for a variety of reasons and oh my gosh how gag-worthy are those engagement photos anyway and wow what an ugly ring and how their Christian heteronormative lifestyle is so awful and mainstream. But not so deep down inside me is this nagging feeling of utter jealousy that I can’t have the gag-worthy engagement photos or the ugly engagement ring or the congratulations and acceptance from my family and friends. I can’t have that, and I am bitterly jealous of my friends who get to be happily engaged knowing no laws or Church doctrine will stop them from becoming a lawfully wedded couple. I am grossly jealous that I cannot marry the girl I love. I am jealous, and I feel ashamed for wanting to be “normal” when I am so proud to be a girl who loves another girl, for loving her is one of my greatest accomplishments. I want to marry her some day, and goddammit, I will. Full stop.
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..
Boston. Fucking horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”
But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”